It’s Not All About the Benjamins

Lately, as hard as it is to believe, the hundred dollar bill has been making my life very difficult in many different ways. None of which involve me actually receiving a hundred dollar bill.

First off, sometimes people pay for their small tab with a hundred. I can understand why some people would do this, but the people that have no choice but to pay with a Franklin generally say things like “I’m sorry, can you break this?” (in a non-snarky tone) or “sorry, this is all I have”.

Then there’s the (generally, sorry) guys who pull out a hundred and say something similar to the statements above, but with a shit grin on their face. I am not impressed. And even if I was impressed by the fact that you had a hundred dollar bill, little do you know that you’re indeed making my life more difficult reminding me that no, I can’t break a hundred because I haven’t made enough money in this shift to make change. And, I have to wait for the bartender to give me change while you continue to lean on my bar with that grin on your face. So directly after I’m reminded that I’ve made crap money so far in the night, I have a good 5-10 minutes to reflect on why I work here instead of something normal like the library while I wait for the bartender to get my change.

But the kicker is when someone pays for a small bill with a hundred then tips you less than 15%. I mean, you obviously have money to spend, and now you can’t even leave a decent tip? Especially when the dude that was obviously trying to impress me with his probably fabricated wealth leaves a bad tip. Weak.

My step-mom once told me a tale from her waitressing days where a guy tipped her $100 to show off in front of his friends. He later came back to the restaurant and asked for the $100 back, saying he really can’t afford to tip that much. I mean, damn.

The moral of this post is if you walk into a restaurant, bar, or really any place of business and you plan on spending less than $2o, get change ahead of time.


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